HELOVIA || The Way to the Sun
[P] right now i need a miracle - Printable Version

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right now i need a miracle - Tandavi - 07-08-2017

Give me one good reason,
Why I should never make a change

She leans against Hototo's tree, as though seeking some comfort from her absentee friend through this, the birth of her sin. "Fuck," she moans against the pain, her breath rising in a sea of embers that flutters and fades in the black of night. She has labored since dusk and it is now nearly dawn; sweat beads on her copper brow, soaking silver mane and stinging onyx eyes. Her jaw hurts from clenching her teeth, her sides hurt, her flanks hurt, the small of her back hurts - everything is pain, so much more so than the last time she bore a child, so much more so than anything she has faced before. It is tempting to quit, to let them die in her womb, and she with them, to bury this shame at the bottom of the sea, but of course she does not. It is not the babies' fault for their conception. It is not their fault for her weakness.

At least they will not be alone. Not far away her brother stands alert, his small body tense and tired as he waits, sending encouragement through their bond. He is the guard of two perfect eggs, both round and porcelain, both containing an unhatched bond. She discovered them not far from here, and together the pair dragged the nest to the Veins. The Fire Dancer knows she will not love her children as well as she ought; there is some comfort, then, in knowing someone else will.

The clouds are lined with silver, and the beginning of light has appeared in the east, when the first of her children comes. She winces and cries out against the pressure, dark eyes pushed tight against each other - but in the end she comes out easily, sliding silently onto the ground, her small body dark and wet and, of course, winged. Despite her trepidation the copper child breathes a sigh, the slightest hint of warmth returning to her gaze. She gets to work cleaning the first while waiting for the second, who is decidedly disinterested in leaving the comfort of her mother's womb. "Neaera," she dubs her oldest daughter wearily, her lips pressed against a flaxen forelock, "Please tell your twin it's time to come out."


@Amaris, & if you want to join please ask us

RE: right now i need a miracle - Neaera - 07-08-2017

To enter the world alone, when you had never been alone before, is a terrifying thing.

Given the choice, though, Neaera would have wanted to be first. To see what the world was like before her sister - to gain just a little bit more knowledge but also to make sure it was safe for her sister to enter as well. These weren’t concrete thoughts in her head, however, and would not be for a long time.

All the purple girl knew was that she missed having someone at her side.

The substitute for her sister was a large, copper-coloured mare who inspired a such a warm rush of feeling through Neaera’s young body that she nearly forgot about her sister. This mare was cleaning her, caring for her, and gave her her name. This was mother. Perhaps, with mother, the world wouldn’t be so frightening. Perhaps she could handle the separation of her and her sister.

No, that wasn’t true - she didn’t feel quite whole without her other half with her.

At her mother’s request, Neaera regards the sweat-soaked sides that contain her sister. Without attempting to stand just yet - she bleats at her mother’s sides loudly, wishing to do just as Tandavi had asked and tell her twin to get out, but she’s also crying for the absence of her sister.

art by xxsuzerain at deviantart.com

RE: right now i need a miracle - Savera - 07-08-2017

This is the story of Savera's birth.

Once upon right now, there is a mare trying to bring twins in the world. The first, a beautiful child of purple and night, complies with her mother's wishes, allowing herself to escape into the outside world. She is brave and so she is born.

The second, a slight creature of changing colors and bright emotion, is meant to follow her sister out, but hesitates. She would like very much to stay inside.

When her sister leaves, Savera cries. No, not cries- crying requires air, and air isn't something she knows about, yet. Still it is as though her soul cries, shatters, bursts and fragments like so much glass. The little morning star has no concept of a world outside; to her childish mind her twin is gone, swallowed and expelled by the tightening that had been squeezing around her shoulders, growing tighter and tighter and threatening to compress her, too, into nothing. She fights against it, struggles and squirms, kicking cloven hooves into her poor mother's sides and wriggling and wrestling and refusing until -

- wait, is that her sister?

Though she has never before heard the voice of her twin, Savera would know it anywhere, just as one would know the sight of their own hand. She stops her struggling, freezing in the contracting womb, and listens, trying to understand. However, this pause leaves her open to the squeezing, and before she realizes what happened she finds herself sliding, squeezing, and falling onto something cold and hard.

And thus, Savera is born.

She lays for a moment, dazed, her hazel eyes struggling and failing to take in the enormity of the sky. The world is big, too big; Savera remains unsure about it, paralyzed, until the soft push of her mother's nose rolls her onto her side. With this shift in perspective comes a whole new onslaught of bigness, but also something small- Neaera falls into the girl's sight, and the morning star knows her sister. Relief floods her; she squeals a delighted greeting, legs scrambling to bring her closer to her other half. She does not stand but scoots, her mother helping with more soft pushes, until she is pressed against her sister's side, face pushed against the short strands of mane, breathing her in and taking comfort in her presence, in every tiny hair and line and muscle that makes up this other, familiar, being.

From here she is able to take more in, a little bit at a time. She turns her head to look at her mother, silver gaze focusing on a gold leg, the curve of a shoulder, the white of her mane, and finally, the moon-slashed face that looks down upon them. She feels a certain happy warmth then, a sense of rightness, and squeals contentedly, trying to reach her gold-tipped nose out to touch her mother's face. Perhaps it is not so bad outside, after all. Perhaps living shall be alright.

art by xxsuzerain at deviantart.com

RE: right now i need a miracle - Tandavi - 07-08-2017

Give me one good reason,
Why I should never make a change

The first child is better, by nature of being born first. Her brother laughs as she thinks this, delighted that the twins have finally emerged, dancing and yipping excitedly around his nest of eggs. His sister may be tired but he is more alert than ever, and he grabs the nest between little teeth, dragging it slowly toward the newborn foal.

The sky grows lighter as the mare waits, pushing and sweating as her youngest child refuses to leave the womb. She can feel it kicking, fighting, and wishes it would not, while Neaera, obedient, cries out toward her swollen sides. The combination of pushing and pleading seems to do the trick, and before too much light streaks into the sky the second is born, rosy and gold, and the Fire Dancer breathes a sigh of relief. "Savera," she dubs the second one. "My little sunrise."

She is tired.

As bright fingers of sunlight peek through silver clouds, the Fire Dancer and her brother observe their little family, a sense of peace washing through the bond. The copper child pushes her children together and lays herself beside them, her long tongue reaching out to clean and warm each one, a blanket of embers rolling over them in search of injury to heal and treat. Her contentment is pierced with profound sadness - last time she did this Sacre was there. She held little Mortimer and smiled at her lover, warmth and fire blooming in her chest.

This time the Fire Dancer is alone, and cold.

Natraj draws closer, the eggs rocking in their nest. He leaves it in front of the twins before curling up beside his sister, bright gold eyes looking for her gaze. Not alone, he tells her through their bond. Never alone.


RE: right now i need a miracle - Neaera - 07-08-2017

Finally, their family is complete. Neaera doesn’t know enough to think that there might be other members out there - that there is a father, somewhere, that is half to blame for their existence. And aunts, uncles, brothers, another sister even.

None of them mattered to Neaera, not in these first few moments.

Her sister, her mother, and the strange little fox that was coming over towards them - this was her family. Cuddled next to Savera she felt safe once more, their world was perfect. Embers danced around them and everything felt right.

She whickered to Natraj when he came over, bringing something towards them. There are two perfect eggs in the nest that he has dragged forward, and Neaera’s gold and silver eyes glance up towards Tandavi, questioning her about what they were supposed to do. Her curiosity is too strong to wait for a response, however, and she inches forward until her purple muzzle grazes against the smooth surface of the egg. As she touches it, the egg trembles - shaking in it’s spot.

Neaera is so startled, she scrambles to her hooves - trembling herself as she found her legs. She calls out to her mother and sister, her wings flapping in confusion. When the egg cracks, she fears she’s broken it, that she’s destroyed it. And then there are flames spilling out of the egg, bright gold and red - matching the embers that had danced from their mother.

Chirps come from the egg next and Neaera squeals with delight when her eyes meet those of the chick.

art by xxsuzerain at deviantart.com

RE: right now i need a miracle - Savera - 07-08-2017

This is the story of my birth.

Savera watches silently as our eggs are brought forward, dragged on their strange carriage of twigs. She, too, is curious, her silver eyes flickering rapidly between her mother, her sister, and the fox, as she tries to understand what new thing is about to happen. She has just grown comfortable, eased into reassurance that this new world is safe and happy and good and, most of all, complete, when it is interrupted once again. She bites her lip. What right does everything have to be so big?

Something else is happening, something that inspires panic in the little morning star. Neaera is moving, reaching, and poor Savera watches in agony as her sister draws away, bleating her confusion and dismay at this turn of events. Why is she trying to touch the strange, moving orbs? Have they come to swallow them? Savera fears the worst...

...and the worst does not come. Instead her sister totters forward, rising into that vast, incomprehensible sky but not leaving, never leaving. She calls out, and Savera knows what she must do. She may be frightened, but she cannot leave Neaera to the mercy of these these orbs alone - and so she, too, rises, scrambling, stumbling, fighting her way onto tottering legs until she is standing beside her twin, staring raptly at the fiery, shattering egg.

My egg, meanwhile, is beginning to rock. I am ready to emerge, but I shall not make such a hurried mess - it is unseemly and unnecessary, after all. My egg cracks in a perfect line, a split down the center that leaves the shell in two flawless halves, me curled up atop one. Soft and downy, I begin to simultaneously cry and purr, waiting for the rescue I know will inevitably come. And come it does, because within moments a golden nose is pressed against my belly, with Savera's eyes behind it, staring in wonder.

I grab on.

Savera starts and pulls away, crying out in pain and surprise. Again she glances at her mother and sister, uncertain, but it's already too late. She is mine - I can feel it the same way I feel my legs and wings, and I begin to cry out again, reaching for her, my owl's beak emitting a surprisingly high-pitched noise. This time Savera does not come to my immediate rescue, which I resent; instead she stands above me, her soft nose just out of my reach, sniffing and investigating, that cautious and curious mind of hers trying to make sense of what's happened before taking any unnecessary steps. She looks at her sister, trying to take her cue from the older girl before reaching out with delicate teeth to grab the edge of eggshell I still lay on, gingerly dragging it while retreating back to the safety of her mother's embrace.

There she settles back down, carefully tucking her legs underneath her, her bright gaze never leaving mine. This time when she brings her nose toward mine I'm a little more careful, too. I crawl toward her, hooting quietly, and drag myself onto her face where I settle, content, while she remains alert and stock-still

art by xxsuzerain at deviantart.com

RE: right now i need a miracle - Mesec - 07-08-2017

oh, I see stars rushing through my mind

colours have no time to fade

He had been close.

Though he was wary, almost even a little afraid, of the chestnut mare - he was a part of her family now, whether she liked it or not. She didn’t seem quite as hostile towards him anymore, sure, but he didn’t like the idea of causing her any discomfort by forcing his presence on her.

But he had still stayed close, close enough that he could help, if she needed it.

Whether or not they were getting along, this wasn’t something that she should be alone for. Maybe he should have approached sooner but he was no longer experiencing the lowering of his inhibitions that he felt the last time they had spoke - and inhibitions composed at least 60% his personality most days.

When she was lying with the twins (twins!!) Mesec approached at a slow gait, making sure he was in plain view the entire time. This time, Lyra was the only companion accompanying him - Lucius was off scouting the lands and reporting back on those who had been driven from the herds. Everything was crumbling, everything was changing, and yet here - new life was beginning.

There were so many complications tied to these twins but for now Mesec just wanted to pretend that they were two ordinary parents, welcoming their children into the world.

“Tandavi.” Her voice on his tongue was gentle this time, soft questions mixed into the syllables. He didn’t move any closer, stopping when there was still quite a few metres separating them. He felt wary and was unwilling to get into a fight with her today and would leave if his presence continued to cause her stress. His sad, silver eyes were on the chestnut mare even though all he wants to do was look at their children, to take in the newborn twins and marvel at how beautiful they were.
the nightwind
coding by Kyra

RE: right now i need a miracle - Tandavi - 07-08-2017

Give me one good reason,
Why I should never make a change

The eggs hatch, as eggs are wont to do, and both Fire Dancer and her brother watch with interest as new bonds, like new life, are born. The magic of them is obvious, clean and crystal and melodious; the girl closes her eyes contentedly, some of the tension of these past few months finally fading away. At least they will always have each other, she thinks. At least they have their companions. Natraj voices his agreement through their bond - they had been joined since birth, after all, and in the face of an absentee mother it had kept them sane.

An absentee mother. Because with the world ending and her conflicted feelings, that is what the girl fears she will become - absentee, wayward, unable to provide emotionally for the impetuous twins who have already caused her so much strife.

Right now, though, she does not feel strife. The girl arcs her copper neck, trying to gaze over the backs of her daughters without intruding, or rising- her body is still weary from her long labor through the night. Neaera is the first to be born, the first to rise, the first to find a bond, and the Fire Dancer wonders if this will be a pattern for her children in the coming days and years. "A phoenix," she murmurs to her older girl, her chin resting gently on the child's flank. Natraj does not hesitate to get into the action, squirming his way to Neaera's side, looking on jovially at her emerging chick. He suggests a name, and the mare vocalizes- "Natraj suggests you call him Charon."

Her attention is drawn back to her youngest, who now lies upon the ground beside her once more, her own new companion seeming determined to nest on the girl's face. The little cat-owl is dreadfully familiar, and with a pang the Fire Dancer thinks of Kali, her mother's bonded, a partner on so many early adventures. "Devi," she whispers to Savera, burying her nose in the girl's mane to hide the wave of emotion that hits her like a hammer. At once she wants to cry, and laugh, to grab her children and hold them close and to run away with all of her terror and never, ever come back.

Their father stops her. She feels him approach even before she sees him, his magic a familiar push against her own. Dark eyes lift from her pink-hued child; she eyes him warily, pulling herself up into a standing position and moving so slightly to hover over her children, an instinctive protectiveness possessing her suddenly as she watches the sire of her girls. "Mesec," she breathes back a careful welcome, remembering their last encounter, their flawed history, her harsh words. From Neaera's side Natraj calls a greeting, clearly trying to ease the tension, his tails raised in friendship at the stallion and his fox. Be nice, he pleads of his sister. No more magic. Just you.

The girl clears her throat, dark eyes unyielding but deep voice gentle. "I named them," she tells him quietly, "Neaera and Savera." She gestures to each, her two-colored ears and gold-slashed face always on the stallion. She wants to say more - I carried them, I birthed them, I bonded them, I was scared, I am scared, I'm sorry - but her face says most of it, her expressive gaze softening as she watches, yearning for redemption - from him, if no-one else.

"This is your father," she tells her girls, alto tones deep in the brightening day. Because no matter what she may wish, it is him, not his brother, who sired her children - and they are theirs, not just hers or his, a pair of troublesome, joyful mistakes to be shared between them, the creatures of Fire and Night.


RE: right now i need a miracle - Amaris - 07-09-2017

She had to find them.

Too much time had passed since the end had been announced and she had last seen her cousin. Too much time always seemed to pass between them, and then when they did see each other, so much always seemed to happen without the other being aware, without the other knowing, realising, until it was too late.

This reunion would be no different.

Amaris, having travelled across the land in varying states of mind-foggedness, arrived at the Veins of the Gods with some clarity, which was a change (an improvement?) to the previous interactions she had had. Anger seemed to rise up within her much more swiftly than before, though it usually vanished just as suddenly. For the most part, she was still numb, unfeeling, except for the undercurrent of must-find-Tandavi and we-must-survive-this.

It was dawn, another day, and the dragonmare watched as the sunrise painted the realm in defiant tones of rose gold and amber, watched as the sunlight fought against the darkness that seemed to swallow up half (if not more) of the realm, watched as life carried on despite it all, and tried to pull her inspiration for stubbornly enduring this from it.

Flames of a magic Amaris knew all too well caught her attention, as her wings tilted and she neared the gathering, she slowly absorbed all that was going on.

Tandavi had twins. Newborn twins - that she had birthed.

Mesec was there.

Sacre and Mortimer weren't.

And now Amaris was there too.

The dragonmare approached, her steps slow but deliberate, her mind whirling. More nieces - no, they were second-cousins, but Tandavi was as much a sister to her as anything, so niece suited her just fine - to add to her family tree, more children who carried the bloodline of the DragonHeart, of the mighty Voraer and Anei, and now..

Of Gods too.

Golden eyes looked between the stallion and the mare, as she walked into the scene, and though she was puzzled, she was more hurt than anything else. She didn't know why, she couldn't define it, and she was angry that somehow, amidst it all, she had the gall to even get her own feelings hurt.

What must they be going through? What does it matter when my heart hurts? What do they feel for one another? Why should I care about them when they clearly don't care about me? Was this a union of love, of passion and devotion? Why do I feel that for them, but none ever feel that for me?

Hush, the ever present Dramyrth purred from his usual spot atop her withers, washing away the thoughts that warred within his bondmate with his fiery presence, filling her mind with thoughts of him and him alone, reassuring her that she was loved, she was wanted, she was needed, by him, and by them, if only in different ways than that which they had seemingly sought out in each other.

"Tavi," she murmured softly as she approached, moving swiftly to her side, daring her to push her away, defying her if she tried. Her golden hide smoothly lined up with her copper cousin's, her nearest wing slinging over the girl as her maw pressed against the Fire Dancer's hot nape.

"They are beautiful," she spoke with a smile she did not feel but knew she should bear, looking between the children, looking to their father as well, hiding the hurt the confusion, behind a mask of happiness and false I'm-dealing-with-the-world-ending-ness all at once.

She watched as the sunrise played upon one child's pelt, all rosy golds and bright hues, watched as it streaked across the others, watched as the children bonded and awoke in this dying realm known as Helovia.

"And gifted too," she supplied, as if the parents wouldn't have already noticed, as if they couldn't have seen already the magnificence that was their glorious children. And suddenly it was easy to accept all of this, because here were her nieces, her blood, born into this life and she was here to see it, to be a part of it, and whether Helovia ended or not - she would see them live.

@Tandavi @Mesec .
drákos istoría
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on deviantart

RE: right now i need a miracle - Neaera - 07-09-2017

It feels right, with her sister at her side again. Neaera’s world is incomplete every time there is a gap between her and Savera - just a few moments was enough to make her feel nauseous. But then Savera was standing - and their mother soon after. Everything felt so perfect in these moments. It was right that they were all together, that this was their family. She’s filled with a fierce sense of belonging that she still doesn’t quite understand - suddenly knowing that everyone else beyond this group does not matter.

The chick made of gold fire emerges from the egg in a heap of feathers, and Neaera’s a little disappointed with how ugly it looks. Savera’s is ugly too, in a different way, but hers is fluffier like the fox. Their mother offers the suggestion of names and Neaera nods her head, whickering a soft thank you to Natraj for the suggestion, and to their mother for speaking it. Her head is lowered right down to the level of the chick and she angles her head to give it a good look. She can feel this little life inside of her head, almost even more real than the bond she has with her sister and mother.

Then there are others.

A dark stallion, a drop of the night sky that is rapidly disappearing. She doesn’t give him much more than quick glance, because her chick is falling out of the egg and demands her attention instead. A golden mare approaches too, scales the colour of the flames of Charon’s feathers, and she seems to fit more with their family than the black stallion seemed to.

Now that Charon is out of his egg, she can see inside of it. At the bottom of the egg is an inky darkness, something more than just shadows. It shifts and moves and then another head is peeking out over the edge of the fractured shell.

And just like that, as if their father had heralded its arrival, suddenly this Mesec does fit in because he matches the new chick who has feathers such a dark purple that they are nearly black. Their feathers match Charon’s eyes perfectly, and the new chick has eyes that burn with gold.

In confusion, Neaera turns her head up to her mother - who seems to know everything - her gaze clearly showing how lost she feels. She doesn’t like not understanding - and hopes this feeling will go away soon.

art by xxsuzerain at deviantart.com

RE: right now i need a miracle - Savera - 07-10-2017

Everything, briefly, is peaceful. For a moment we are able to simply be, Savera lying on the cold ground, me lying in the warmth of her breath, our mother and sister gathered in close. Devi, I am named, and the name seems suiting - Savera and Devi, with Neaera and Charon and Tandavi and Natraj. We make a unit, a small and perfect segment of the world that the little morning star delights in, her comprehension and curiosity expanding slowly and thoroughly. She seems determined to take in every aspect of my existence, her eyes crawling carefully across every feather, every little tuft of fur and fluff. Carefully, delicately, she reaches out to nudge the bud of my wing - and her own raises in tandem, a small and dainty thing, still incapable of much but sitting and looking pretty.

Just like us. For now.

It is a perfect moment, but it is temporary, interruptable, as these things often are. I squawk as Savera raises her head, her movement sudden and poorly coordinated. I can feel the swell of confusion and disapproval in her young mind, the rebellion against all of these things interjecting into her peace. She strives to understand her surroundings, to soak them in and comprehend them completely- but how can she, when her surroundings keep growing, when the world keeps changing, when nothing is still? The newcomer, the big black stallion, is yet another thing she cannot understand. She grabs my shell and tries to retreat, to return to the safety of her sister's side, nickering softly to Neaera while simultaneously trying to keep an eye on all the goings on.

The big black stallion ("Father," says mother, in that deep smoky voice that seems to hold every answer) is a speck of nighttime, but he is quickly countered by a ray from the sun. On the other side of her mother there appears a patch of gold, and Savera turns quickly, abandoning me briefly in her attempt to keep her eyes on every member of her rapidly expanding family. From my place at her hooves I continue to indignantly squawk - I'm growing hungry, and so is she, and this coupled with the perplexing situation and sheer shock of bonding and birth is taking a toll on both of our spirits.

Savera parts her golden lips but only quivering sounds come out, insecure and incessant, her distress vocalized in this mewling cry. She wants her mother, and she wants her sister, and she wants to be fed, and she wants to understand. She is petulant in this wanting, demanding, inconsolable; she tugs at her mother's long mess of braids, peering insolently through it at the golden stranger with matching halcyon eyes.

art by xxsuzerain at deviantart.com

RE: right now i need a miracle - Tandavi - 07-11-2017

Give me one good reason,
Why I should never make a change

Mesec is not the only one to find her, to bring warmth and uncertainty into this cold morning. The Dragonmare is a welcome respite in the darkness, a calming presence she feels before she sees. Fire Dancer wants nothing more than to turn and run to her cousin's embrace, to throw herself into the wings of the mare and there find absolution, forgiveness for the sins she has committed - yet there is a reason she has not yet done so, and that reason is those very sins. Will Amaris forgive her this transgression? How could she? Why should she? The copper mare has strayed once more from her commitments, from her promises and vows, and now she has two daughters of nighttime to live forever as proof of her shortcomings.

Why would Amaris ever forgive that?

And yet- Tavi, her cousin whispers, the pet named used by so few now. The familiar wing lifts over her side, and the girl slides easily beneath it, seeking eagerly the warmth of her cousin, the ferocity of her love. Tears spring to the girl's eyes, unbidden, and for a moment she turns away from these new responsibilities, abandons them for the comfort of her cousin sister's silky mane.
"I'm so sorry-" she whispers hoarsely, her voice for Amaris and Amaris alone. She wants to say more, but already Savera is yanking at her hair and mewling, and Neaera is looking back at them both, and there is still Mesec to deal with... and so she pulls her face away, reluctant, but with the barest hint of a grateful smile curling on her lips.

She waits, her heart in her throat, as her small family assembles and tries to find their feet. The silence threatens to become unbearable, until Neaera - sweet, perfect, merciful Neaera - breaks it with an undeniable expression of childhood perplexity, which Natraj has followed up on. The fox barks and the fire dancer steps forward slowly, her body still rooted to Amaris, her younger daughter still clinging to her leg. Natraj shows her a confusing image inside the egg, and Tandavi's long neck arches over both of them to peer into the bright darkness, Savera also pushing at her twin while striving to investigate and figure out what's going on. The mother blinks, curious. She's never seen anything like this before.

It is a day for newness all around.

"It looks like you have twins, Neaera," Tandavi declares, peering in closer, inspecting the chicks. Fire and darkness, Natraj points out. Just like them. The fire dancer bites her lip thoughtfully before looking up, her eyes trying to meet Mesec's, a peace offering within them. "Maybe your father wants to name this one?" she suggests quietly, before glancing back at Amaris, her expression softening, a plea and invitation of closeness on her face. "I'm sure your maasi Amaris would like to meet them, too."

With this proper introduction Savera decides that, yes, she would like to meet her aunt, scrambling under her mother's belly to get closer to the golden mare. The focus of her parents seems to be on Neaera, and though she adores her sister, the little filly is feeling these earliest signs of envy. So she scoops up Devi on her bed of eggshell and shyly nudges the griffin toward Amaris, as if to say, Hi, look, I have a companion too - admire me, please.


Guys post order is a lie

RE: right now i need a miracle - Vesper - 07-11-2017

"In a sky full of stars, I think I see you."

Things were happening too quickly.  The Goddess, who I worshiped both as a deity and held close as family had gone.  I knew it was Kaos, the moment I heard her voice among the mist I knew in my heart it was him.  I hadn’t trusted him as Kisamoa and I certainly didn’t trust him now.  I felt more helpless now than I had when I had asked the Goddess herself what I could do to help vanquish the trickster-God. 

And then there was the fact that mother had returned.  I still couldn’t believe it.  But she was here and she was real and she had come back to us.  Not a dream but living, breathing, and alive.  For so long I believed that she wasn’t coming back.  I knew, deep down, that she would have never left me willingly, but I thought for certain that something horrible had kept her from returning. Or that Kaos had simply built her bones into his obelisk and reigned atop all that was left of her.  She was here

Were things falling apart or were they falling back together?  
Or was I just falling?

It was too much. I closed my eyes and tried to shake my head free of the feelings. However such a feeble effort was futile. I hadn’t left the comfort of the Veins since I’d found mother again.  Without Grandmother, there was little comfort in the Edge anymore.  But here I still felt close to her, wherever she had gone to try to make things right.    

I stood, not too far from the Moon’s shrine, before Everly called my attention away.  Father here. You should come.  There was an urgency to the words, and a strange hesitation I rarely felt from my lifelong companion. What was it that the Zephyr was trying to conceal from me?  But the more she queried, the more ardently that she refused to share anything.  However, I followed, because I knew that Everly would never lead me into harm. However, that didn’t stop the apprehension from building anyway. 

When I finally stumble upon the scene, it takes me a few moments to determine what, exactly I’m looking at.  My birth had not been this well attended, to be sure, but none of the faces today were strange ones, aside from the two fillies, of course.  Papa was here, as were the two mares who had helped me during the incident with the fire what felt like ages ago now.  I’d heard enough to understand that Papa was certainly also the sire of these children.  That, in itself, raised questions.  I knew, of course, he and mother were not close.  But I knew better than to ask questions and stick my nose in business that was certainly not mine.  Instead, my silver eyes were drawn to the children. 


The sight of them caused my heart to leap and to ache in the span of a single heartbeat.  I understood how innately close the two sisters were, even after sharing only a handful of moments together.  Their bond had grown with each and every heartbeat, and grew with each and every breath.  The loss of Virga felt more profound in this moment, even though I had just gained two new family members.

My sisters. There was the briefest flicker of hurt that ignited in my chest.  Why hadn’t Papa told me?  Was he worried I’d be angry? Upset?  There was a flicker of anger too.  Did he think I couldn’t handle the responsibilities of being an older sibling?  Was it because I had failed Virga so miserably he had left?  But this thought, too, was fleeting.  Because I knew that Papa held no such feelings, nor did he harbor any blame regarding Virga’s departure.  That blame I reserved for myself alone.  There was no use in displacing it.  I offered a smile to the girls as Everly returned from the trees, carrying a large rodent of some kind in her talons to the twin zephyrs.  Share, she offered to the newborns, depositing her kill before the bits of shell. 

I took a few steps closer to the children lowering my head ever so slightly. I wasn’t quite sure what I was supposed to do in this situation, having never been in this position before and finding myself caught so thoroughly off guard.   “I’m Vesper,” I managed, despite feeling foolish,   “I’m your sister. And that’s Everly,” I said, with a nod towards the larger Zephyr among the newborns.  I look back to Papa for a moment, hoping for some sort of approval before looking back to the children, hoping beyond everything that Grandmother can keep them safe from what is to come.

image credit

RE: right now i need a miracle - Mesec - 07-11-2017

oh, I see stars rushing through my mind

colours have no time to fade

He wasn’t chased off, something for which Mesec was thankful. He couldn’t fully make sense of the feelings within him right now but he knew that he knew that he wanted to be right here. His gaze remained on Tandavi when she noticed her presence, and his heart crumbled to see her move to stand protectively over their children. That it might be an instinctive thing done by mothers was not something he would know so, instead, he viewed it as a personal slight.

She didn’t want him here.

Lyra returned Natraj’s greeting with a subdued call of her own, her tails continuing to twitch. Whatever might be happening between the golden girl and her kitsune, it seemed to calm her just a little bit.

When she introduced the twins, Mesec’s gaze finally fully moves to the pair of twins, sitting with Natraj and their newly hatched companions. Twin girls - and Mesec cannot believe his luck that he should be blessed with four incredible children. It doesn’t matter that Neaera and Savera are so new to the world that he has no idea what they will be like, but they are utterly perfect to him. His silver eyes began to shine with tears, the raging emotions within him brimming over. “They’re beautiful.” It was the only response he could think to give until he raised his eyes to meet hers, and saw what he thought was the same emotions in her that he felt. “I’m sorry I wasn’t here sooner.” He whispered as he took a small step forward. Mesec hadn’t been there for the birth of Virga or Vesper either - but, then, he hadn’t known that Ki’irha had been pregnant. At least, this time, he had arrived soon enough to be present for their first steps. “I’m sorry for… a lot.” He couldn’t remember if he said that last time they had spoken - but surely it was overdue all the same. “But I can’t be sorry for them.” He wanted to reach out to Tandavi, to comfort her, but Amaris joined them and Mesec remained where he was - closer to the twins now, just a step away from them and standing across from the pair of mares. He offered a weak smile in a greeting to the dragonmare, someone he considered a friend. The situation before her was… difficult to explain, and he was thankful that she did not ask any questions.

Turning an eye away from the mares as they have a moment, Mesec turned his attention to the foals. Neaera was displaying confusion over something within her egg. Lyra had recovered from her wariness and crawled forward, using a dark paw to help further reveal roc chick. Lucius rejoiced through their bond to hear of the young chick, but was still too far away to join them.

His gaze flicked back to Tandavi when she suggested quietly that he name this chick and he smiled warmly at her. “How about Nix?” He lowered his head to be on level with Neaera’s and the purple girl nodded her head quickly to consent to the name. It would do.

Lyra gave a quick bark in a greeting a moment later - her violet eyes catching on the arrival of someone else.

When Mesec turned and spotted Vesper, his heart continued the cycle of soaring and breaking that had paused for a moment with the distraction of the companions.

He hadn’t even had a chance to tell her she was going to be a big sister yet. With everything that had be happening…

How much would she hate him for this?

His silver eyes watched her as she came to join the group and with her presence, he moved closer too - coming to stand beside his eldest daughter and press his muzzle gently into her neck - whispering a soft apology to her. He wanted so much more for all of his children than this strange, awkward situation while their homes were being swallowed up and destroyed - while the Goddess they were all related to abandoned them without so much as a single thought.

They all deserved so more than this.

the nightwind
coding by Kyra

@Amaris I think??

RE: right now i need a miracle - Amaris - 07-12-2017

The dragonmare wanted to feel happiness, joy, she wanted to mean the smile that painted her face. And on some level, she did. Her love for her nieces was instant, undeniable, and in that, her feelings and smile were genuine.

She didn't know why she felt so hurt otherwise, why she felt so betrayed, so.. left out. Left behind. Shoved aside. Forgotten. An afterthought.

She had no right to these feelings, not really. Her fickle heart clung to those who were kind to her, for so few were as she grew up with her dragonsblood marking her forever different, forever strange. Tandavi had always held her love, the Fire Dancer could do nothing to jeopardise the weight of love Amaris held for her (which made it hurt all the more when these things happened).

Mesec however, was just a friend, just a friend, who she had danced a warrior's tango with, who she had known since she was a child, who had always made her feel like she belonged. Even just as a friend, she had loved him on some level, she knew. And she knew he was a father, she had assumed he had a mate, a mare holding firmly onto that part of his heart.

But a small, sadly defiant voice inside her cried out, 'If you were to deviate from your mate, why not choose me?' She hadn't realised before now that she might have considered him, might have felt that way, might have allowed him into that part of herself, and that caused the hurt to sting all the more bitterly too.

She heard the words her beloved Tandavi uttered, and she merely pressed herself against her copper cousin in response, silently forgiving even if she did not embrace the feeling of forgiveness completely within her. It didn't matter, for she would be here anyway; she would not turn away from her cousin, her family - even Mesec was bound by that now, whether he realised or not.

Golden eyes peered from each party present, giving attention to all in turn, offering that cheerful, congratulatory smile wherever she looked, making the right noises when Neaera discovered her second companion, and indulging her sister, Savera as she begged for her attention too. Whenever the opportunity arose, the dragonmare would press her soft maw against each girl, blessing them, kissing them with a warm breath, hoping to imprint on them in some way that they were her family, that no matter what, she would be there for them, always.

Dramyrth rose from her back, then, also alerting her to the arrival of Vesper. She recognised the young filly from their encounter with the fire-cheetah, the demon-creature that had been the one to place the four glowing stripes upon Amaris' chest, and had known long ago that she was the daughter of Mesec and some unknown mare, some mate she assumed Mesec loved dearly because she herself had been raised in a family that loved all involved dearly, and never strayed from that love, that commitment.

She sighed, frustrated that her thoughts were only going in useless circles, knowing it was better than the vacant numbness that had resided there before but finding her mind no more productive than when it had frozen up just after the Moon Goddess' announcement.

The dragon atop her back purred, bringing her back to the present, and suddenly she knew what was to be done, and she whickered softly, her attention upon her beloved nieces, a smile that hinted at playful deviousness tugging on her lips - and it was, for a change, completely genuine. Lowering her tiara to their level, to meet their eyes and speak to them directly, she spoke: "Dramyrth and I have some gifts for you."

The dragon wandered down her lowered nape, and with practised dexterity, removed the bracelet that had been the DragonHeart's from around his neck, and deftly moved to stand before Savera and affix it to her upper foreleg (for it was still too large to fit around her cannon or dock yet). Then, to Neaera, he retrieved a golden crown that they had found in their wanderings, and affixed it to the child's brow.

The gifts were fitting, Amaris thought, for one child seemed to favour golden hints and the other silver, and the gifts matched them both. Amaris was reminded sorely of her sister, of Semira, of how she would never see her again, with the destruction of Helovia imminent and the option of fleeing to the lands where she resided an impossible one to consider.

With nothing but love in her eyes, she looked at the girls, and vowed to always be there for them, in whatever capacity they required her to be.
drákos istoría
theartlex | larfsalot
on deviantart

@Tandavi @Mesec @Vesper .